Thinspo..

I'll be honest.

Honesty isn't easy for me.
Not in a "I live a lie" kind of way, but in that if I screw up, I will not easily accept it. Which is probably why I have denied the DISGUSTING weight gain. I'm back at 175 fucking (sorry) pounds, and I honestly hate myself for it. I have been readjusting with things, and I got complacent. So I'm going to do a cleanse/detox thing for a week, just to try to get rid of this shit. I feel like a heifer, and I am so not proud of this. I want to be a runner, a slim, toned girl. I want to have a boy be able to lift me easily and to not see me as the fat girl because, honestly, that is how I feel they see me. I know we all have 'distorted views of ourselves,' but how distorted are the really? So here goes. I am restarting, once again. Time to step up, get everything in my life to be more controlled. Its times when I'm the most organized, the most structured that I can control my food obsession and restrict well. So here goes. Once again. Wish me luck, let me know if you have detox tips. Sorry I suck at inspiration. I'll post some thinspo once I get enough :)

-A