I plan everything. These plans would work if I fucking stuck to them for more than a week.
I have been wanting to reach simple milestones for over two years. That is just pathetic.
I'm a pathetic excuse for a person. But really, why can't I do this. I do not hold myself accountable.
10 pounds. That's the weight I have to be at by the end of August. 160. That's pathetic, I can't even get down to that, and that's still the size of a cow. I was 169 this morning when I woke up. I hate myself for this.
Fuckfuckfuck.
Sorry…
But really. I can't keep this weight up. I hate my fat face. I hate my fat thighs. I hate my fat ass my fat stomach my fat arms.
I want to be toned, to turn heads, to be pretty. That can't happen while I'm a heifer.
If this is something I want so badly, the biggest single goal that I have 100% control over, why can't I stick to it.
Restarting. Go.
I want:
- 160. then 150. then 140. then 130. then less.
- the gap.
- flat stomach
- thin arms
- cheekbones
- hipbones
- collarbones.
- anthing for thin.
i feel the same way! except i usually break my control after a few days. i wish i could go for a week. but most of the time it's because we see ourselves in the mirror and we see that the goal we're trying to achieve is too far away and we become lazy, even though it's only a few pounds. ugh, i hope you get your control back. good luck! and stay strong :)
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