"Day Six- Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do"
Yes. I do. Like today. So much fucking food in my house. I ate so much and now my stomach is about to explode and the weight on the scale literally made me want to cry, I can't even bring myself to type it. I'm going to have to seriously fast—water, coffee and diet coke ONLY—for at least three days to even get down to 160. UGH. So gross. And I feel like every post is about my failures. That is pathetic. I need to refocus on my goal, my strength, my willpower. I am WEAK.
But anyways…I don't know why I binge. I get in these disgusting frenzies where I just eat way past being full, to the point of pain and I'm conscious of what I'm doing during it but I can't stop. And then I hate myself. Hate. Like, I have no control and I let myself down.
This is super emo, I'm sorry. On the flip side, I ended up having a fun Easter with good friends despite my family not being able to come at the last minute. If only it wasn't centered around massive amounts of food/my thoughts weren't centered around the guilt that comes with that…
Tomorrow's a new day, a new chance to prove that I'm stronger than food.
Love you all!
-A
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